from: How to Live Unhappily Ever After
"This recipe of defining what happiness means to you and then fiddling with your life to make the changes needed to make yourself happy will work for some people. But not for others.
I am one of the others.
I am not a happy person.
A lot of the time what I feel is interested. Or I feel melancholy. And I also frequently feel tenderness, annoyance, confusion, fear, hopelessness, friskiness.
It doesn't all add up to anything I would call happiness.
What I'm thinking is, is that so terrible?
I used to say "I just want to be happy" all the time I said it so frequently and without care that I forgot to refill the phrase with meaning, so it was just a shell of words.
Happiness is a wonderful goal for those who are inclined on a genetic level toward that emotional end of the spectrum.
Happiness is a treadmill of a goal for people who are not happy by nature.
Being an unhappy person does not mean you must be sad or dark. You can be interested instead of happy. You can be fascinated instead of happy."
I am one of the others.
I am not a happy person.
A lot of the time what I feel is interested. Or I feel melancholy. And I also frequently feel tenderness, annoyance, confusion, fear, hopelessness, friskiness.
It doesn't all add up to anything I would call happiness.
What I'm thinking is, is that so terrible?
I used to say "I just want to be happy" all the time I said it so frequently and without care that I forgot to refill the phrase with meaning, so it was just a shell of words.
Happiness is a wonderful goal for those who are inclined on a genetic level toward that emotional end of the spectrum.
Happiness is a treadmill of a goal for people who are not happy by nature.
Being an unhappy person does not mean you must be sad or dark. You can be interested instead of happy. You can be fascinated instead of happy."
from: How to Stop Being Afraid of Your Anger
"By ignoring anger and applying a thick coating of positive thinking on top of it, you can successfully contain it. Until, that is, the most inappropriate moment imaginable where your anger will roil up inside of you, rise up your throat, and be propelled out of your mouth at a pregnant woman who reaches for the avocado at the same moment that you do at a farmers' market on some Saturday morning.
In my experience, people frequently repress small pieces of anger...because, it doesn't matter. Or, they didn't mean it. Or, I'm overly sensitive. Or, I want to focus on the positive. Or a thousand and twelve other reasons.
But these little angers are promiscuous; they breed like epidural addicts. And in time, you're sitting across from your husband at dinner and when he opens his mouth to take a bit of garlic bread, you clench your teeth, smile, and think to yourself, "I despise the way he chews. How could I have married a man who chews like such an animal?"
Anger that you shush will metastasize and can cause massive damage...
Anger is a natural emotion, not a character flaw and not a weakness. But unlike joy or sadness, anger needs just a little bit of a polish before you release it into the world. Even though it's horribly uncomfortable, you could try expressing how you feel to the subject of your wrath. Another quite useful and healthy outlet for anger is writing. Even if you "can't write." Because actually, if you can speak, you can write."
In my experience, people frequently repress small pieces of anger...because, it doesn't matter. Or, they didn't mean it. Or, I'm overly sensitive. Or, I want to focus on the positive. Or a thousand and twelve other reasons.
But these little angers are promiscuous; they breed like epidural addicts. And in time, you're sitting across from your husband at dinner and when he opens his mouth to take a bit of garlic bread, you clench your teeth, smile, and think to yourself, "I despise the way he chews. How could I have married a man who chews like such an animal?"
Anger that you shush will metastasize and can cause massive damage...
Anger is a natural emotion, not a character flaw and not a weakness. But unlike joy or sadness, anger needs just a little bit of a polish before you release it into the world. Even though it's horribly uncomfortable, you could try expressing how you feel to the subject of your wrath. Another quite useful and healthy outlet for anger is writing. Even if you "can't write." Because actually, if you can speak, you can write."
This winter break has been one of much self-helpin' -- unintentionally but...nevertheless, refreshingly so. Mmhmm winter break je t'aime
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