Do not despair.
Find a balance.
Journal always.
Take deep breaths and
Stap ze inzecurity.
Love more.
Keep learning.
Stop being so bossy.
Farewell 2011 & Hello 2012 in eight deep breaths!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
dear blue-eyed, full-lipped, dark-haired man,
Hello, you are quite blue-eyed, full-lipped, dark-haired. Quite.
As it so often happens, here I am blogging when I should be studying (&reading through some old posts about blogging instead of studying...a vicious cycle, it seems).
I'm not quite sure if you're worth the moments, but let me just take a few moments to note these moments of sitting across from your blue eyes, full lips, dark brown hair. I can't decide if they are attractive or not...they are almost too much, but still kind of pretty...but almost too muchhh ehhhh cannot decide. They teeter totter on some kind of beauty-ugly-scary verge. A three-way face precipice.
AHHH YOU JUST LOOKED AT ME and for a moment I thought you could:
1. read my mind reading these words
2. read these words backwards and all, through the back of my computer screen
3. but then realized that it was probably because I was crunching my extremely green, extremely sour, mediumly delicious apple, extremely loudly. Oops. Sorry.
But as I said, I'm not quite sure if you're worth these moments. I am also not sure of many, many other things about you. I wonder if you are kind. I wonder if you enjoyed that butter-only-no-cream-cheese-nuh-uh bagle as much as I'm enjoying my extremely green apple, which is only a medium amount, and I hope you enjoyed it more than I'm enjoying this but I dunno you seemed pretty matter of fact about it all. Knife, butter, Swipe-Swipe, Take Bite, chew-Chew. I wonder how long it has been a habit of yours to purse your extremely full lips in the way that you are doing. I wonder if it's a stress-induced thing, cause you look quite stressed, though you seem to be productive. But of course I cannot read your mind and the words it is reading (not) out-loud to you, or read through the backside of your computer screen, or indeed even read backwards that fast, so who knows. I wonder what kind of music is pulsing through your earphones into your earholes into your brainwaves. I wonder if it is stupid that I systematically call everything remotely related to brain activity "brainwaves." But most of all, I wonder if you are kind.
And then secondly, if you are worth these few moments that took to write up this blogpost, the answer to which, I spose, is related to the answer to my biggest wondering.
Goodbye and good luck! Dear God please bless everyone at this table, in this room, on this floor, in this library, in any library studying right now. I know it's silly and naive to think that this small prayer will suddenly make everyone's studyings better or brighter or even cause a little burst of energy or something, but I pray anyway that you touch each person in the way that they need to be touched by you right now, in small and significant ways that are only apparent to you and him and her. Most of all dear God, please help us all survive this exam season more or less unscathed. No. Triumphant. Please, God, use me in ways that make other people's days sparkle a little bit in these sparkle-lacking times. What a blessing it is to study for exams.
Woah you just stood up. You are also quite tall. Quite.
As it so often happens, here I am blogging when I should be studying (&reading through some old posts about blogging instead of studying...a vicious cycle, it seems).
I'm not quite sure if you're worth the moments, but let me just take a few moments to note these moments of sitting across from your blue eyes, full lips, dark brown hair. I can't decide if they are attractive or not...they are almost too much, but still kind of pretty...but almost too muchhh ehhhh cannot decide. They teeter totter on some kind of beauty-ugly-scary verge. A three-way face precipice.
AHHH YOU JUST LOOKED AT ME and for a moment I thought you could:
1. read my mind reading these words
2. read these words backwards and all, through the back of my computer screen
3. but then realized that it was probably because I was crunching my extremely green, extremely sour, mediumly delicious apple, extremely loudly. Oops. Sorry.
But as I said, I'm not quite sure if you're worth these moments. I am also not sure of many, many other things about you. I wonder if you are kind. I wonder if you enjoyed that butter-only-no-cream-cheese-nuh-uh bagle as much as I'm enjoying my extremely green apple, which is only a medium amount, and I hope you enjoyed it more than I'm enjoying this but I dunno you seemed pretty matter of fact about it all. Knife, butter, Swipe-Swipe, Take Bite, chew-Chew. I wonder how long it has been a habit of yours to purse your extremely full lips in the way that you are doing. I wonder if it's a stress-induced thing, cause you look quite stressed, though you seem to be productive. But of course I cannot read your mind and the words it is reading (not) out-loud to you, or read through the backside of your computer screen, or indeed even read backwards that fast, so who knows. I wonder what kind of music is pulsing through your earphones into your earholes into your brainwaves. I wonder if it is stupid that I systematically call everything remotely related to brain activity "brainwaves." But most of all, I wonder if you are kind.
And then secondly, if you are worth these few moments that took to write up this blogpost, the answer to which, I spose, is related to the answer to my biggest wondering.
Goodbye and good luck! Dear God please bless everyone at this table, in this room, on this floor, in this library, in any library studying right now. I know it's silly and naive to think that this small prayer will suddenly make everyone's studyings better or brighter or even cause a little burst of energy or something, but I pray anyway that you touch each person in the way that they need to be touched by you right now, in small and significant ways that are only apparent to you and him and her. Most of all dear God, please help us all survive this exam season more or less unscathed. No. Triumphant. Please, God, use me in ways that make other people's days sparkle a little bit in these sparkle-lacking times. What a blessing it is to study for exams.
Woah you just stood up. You are also quite tall. Quite.
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