;

In certain academic ways, it's very mysterious, but I feel very stupid. Like everyone else in the discussion is getting it gettting it getting it but my brain is just unable to process correctly and all I can do is grasp at wavy-vague brainstrings and go mmmmmmhmm mhm ...mhmm yeah.

And in certain social ways, I often also often feel very stupid. Whether it's the feeling-out-of-place and sorta bewildered in a large party setting because there are too many people to be able to concertedly hear the person I'm wanting to be concentrating on in front of me, or feeling jealous or self-conscious or both cause I'm tiny-hearted and evil sometimes.

But then I mull over all these things in the car ride home, snuggly in the carseat and singing out LOUD to all the right songs that come on, shufflin', and pray to God about all the fun things that happened, thank you, thank you, and for all the beauty and for my car that runs well and for school and for uncertain futures and all these things in my present. And re- re- re- realize that my ultimate identity lies in Christ, and this causes all the beauty; this makes all the happy; this redeems all my mysterious stupidities.