The verdict on stress-inducement of grey hair is inconclusive - apparently it does bring about premature greying, but only if you're genetically predisposed to that anyways, so it's technically not, but it technically is, kind of deal.
Stress-induced greyness or not, the truth in my life this semester is that I have been stressed and I have seen an alarming increase in the grey hair count on top of my head. As far as I'm concerned, I'm in need of a culprit to blame for the hairs, and stress will be it. And a culprit to blame that stress on... hmmm...
I've been so stupidly stressed this semester, it's hard to believe. Hard to remember the carefree, chill-is-my-default-mode girl [guurrll] I used to be; used to always sort of pride myself on being. All my brain remembers is the stress I've been steeped in - I feel like stewed apples, slobbery and mushy and distinctly, definitely no longer truly Apple in their essence. Their core. Har! There's something very sad and very wrong (but also very hopeful and cinnamony) about this metaphor, but I'm not gonna worry about it.
But yes. Stress is just another kind of pride and stubbornness. Not wanting to, or not being able to, let go of one's own plans and imaginings of how things should be and getting all messed up when the reality that plays out doesn't match up to the preconceived versions of things. Oh God, help me to let go. I am a sleep-deprived, eye-twitching mess, but I am letting go of the things, am holding onto you. Let me hold onto the right things and fling flang flung all the others. Like grey hairs. Or at least wondering about alllll the reasons how they might have gotten to the top of my head.
Woosh and woosh.
No comments:
Post a Comment