failure-validation

Starting the new school year with sunny optimism, I'm looking for some failure validation this semester.
First off, let's start off by saying W.T.F. When did college happen to me?! Every time someone asks me, "Are you excited?" without any other explanatory phrases that could make the question go in a hundred different ways, I immediately answer, "Um..!" expressing my completely true, totally eloquent feelings about the fact that I'm GOING TO COLLEGE in less than a week, now. Because it still feels so surreal, and I'm just hoping it doesn't feel like summer camp or something.
And speaking of school, the next predictable question(s): "What do you want to study?" "What's your major?" "What do you want to do after college?" Sometimes all three at once, to which I answer, "Dunno, Undecided, AHH@#!" Well not really. The undecided part is correct, but I do have wee small ideas about what I think I perhaps maybe want to study/do/become-when-I-grow-up. I'm sort of at a crossroads of life. You know, with the whole dramatic drum roll and everything? At the moment, I want to either pursue medicine and eventually work for Doctors Without Borders (more info here!), or...teach English abroad. I know, they're two such different things - that's why the crossroads imagery is appropriate, I think. And because I'm antsy by nature about big decision-making, I want to decide soon. My solution? Take a chem class. Mmhmm, so I am enrolled for Intro to Chemistry+Lab and already dreading it. After explaining this crossroads of life metaphor to every person who has asked what I want to study, I've come to face the reality that I'm...sort of leaning toward the teaching English option, and strongly and secretly hoping that I hate chemistry with every cell in my body. If I do, it'll be easier for me to sort of shut the door on this medicine career idea I've been thinking about - curb the guilt, or something, for not taking the road that will help me help so many people on a more immediate level because it's daunting and I am scared of ..the reality. (Hmmm?)
I don't know, though. What if chemistry is the best thing in the world since sliced bread and I think it's rainbows and sparkly hearts of magical mystical science? That would be a real problem, falling in love with chemistry.